


How to Train Your Roach

by Llama1412



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Background Relationships, Gen, Silly, Singing, Training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:13:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llama1412/pseuds/Llama1412
Summary: The story of how Jaskier's stupid ditties on the road accidentally trained Roach.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 22
Kudos: 293





	How to Train Your Roach

The worst thing about Jaskier’s singing was that it was very, very stupid. Seriously, so  _ very  _ stupid. Jaskier may have studied the seven liberal arts – and in front of a crowd, he pulled out his (questionably) better stuff – but when it came to travel on the road? Apparently, his motto was “why compose actual travel songs when I can just sing the same five words in a row over and over again?”

It drove Geralt mad. Mostly because the damn songs were weirdly catchy. It was unreal how long  _ R-r-r-Roachie, R-r-r-Rooooachie, Roachie Roachie Roachie Roachie Roooach  _ had been stuck in his head.

But the worst part was that Roach encouraged it! She nickered at the damn  _ Roachie _ song and nudged Jaskier every time he opened his arms as he sang his plea for a hug. But worst of all, Jaskier had accidentally  _ trained _ Roach.

It started small. Every time Geralt fed Roach, Jaskier started singing his ridiculous little ditty.

_ ♪ Chow time, chow time ♪ _

_ ♪ Oats and grains and apples ♪ _

_ ♪ Chow time, chow time ♪ _

_ ♪ Oats and grains and app-les, hey! ♪ _

It seemed annoying, but harmless. Geralt had long ago given up getting Jaskier not to be annoying, so while he grumbled about the song, he didn’t do much about it.

Except it was stupidly fucking catchy. And even when he parted ways with Jaskier, Geralt found himself humming the damn tune every morning when he called Roach to breakfast. 

_ ♪ Chow time, chow time ♪ _

_ ♪ Oats and grains and apples ♪ _

_ ♪ Chow time, chow time ♪ _

_ ♪ Oats and grains and app-les, hey! ♪ _

Now, if anyone even  _ hinted  _ at that melody at any time, Roach expected to be fed post-haste. And she was none too gentle about the demands either. Jaskier, of course, was delighted by this development and proclaimed it his sacred duty not to overuse the song and ruin the association for Roach.

Looking up at the noonday sun, Geralt sighed deeply. He’d just wanted to feed Roach breakfast and prepare to get on the road. But anything with Jaskier involved automatically took at least twice as long.

  
And dammit, the stupid  _ Roachie _ song was  _ still  _ in his head.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on me getting my cats to respond to my whistling for dinner time


End file.
